A 60-year love story that defied political oppression

The party was jumping to the rhythm of Cuban music. Before long, Modesto “Al” Alonso noticed a beautiful young lady sitting next to him in the Knights of Columbus hall in Havana. He figured he had three minutes — the length of a pop song and a dance with her — to ask for her phone number. He got the dance and her number.

“For more than 60 years, I called her every day since my first call with her on Oct. 10, 1959 — the day after we met — from wherever we were in the world,” said Modesto about that “pretty girl”— Carmen Alonso, his wife of 61 years. Both are 83, and they have worshiped at Holy Family Parish in Florham Park for more than 40 years. “God wanted us to be together. The two of us were from different parts of Havana, so the odds of us meeting were nil,” he said.

The Alonsos’ love story defied political oppression. After they married on May 21, 1961, they left Cuba separately to escape the communist dictatorship of Fidel Castro. They raised four grown daughters — one now in heaven — with five grown grandchildren. On Nov. 6, the Alonsos renewed their vows at the diocese’s annual Silver Wedding Anniversary Mass, also known as the Silver and Gold Mass, with other local couples celebrating milestone anniversaries at the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist in Paterson [see lead story above].

Their marriage also spanned continents. A retired mechanical engineer, Modesto worked for Exxon Mobil in Engineering Ser­vices to its oil refineries worldwide. His job took him — and sometimes the family — to places around the United States and the globe, including Greece, Vene­zuela, and England. He retired at 60 as head of Exxon Mobil’s Engineering Technology Depart­ment for refining operations worldwide.

“Carmen and I are happy,” said Modesto, who met her when they were both 18. “My wife is a perfect combination of hard work, intelligence, modesty, and compassion. It doesn’t hurt that she is beautiful.”

Castro came to power on Jan. 1, 1959, and later installed communism as the government of Cuba. At that moment, Modesto became a member of the resistance at great risk. His hope about an overthrow was dashed in April 1961 by the failure of the Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba by Cuban exiles, supported by the United States. With dreams of democracy shattered, they married on May 21 of that year.

Carmen fled to Miami on a U.S. tourist visa to live with family. Modesto escaped to Jamaica. Carmen claimed him on her visa; he then flew to Miami to join her. Then they moved to Philadelphia, so he could finish his mechanical engineering studies at Villanova University, where he graduated in 1963.

While the family moved around the world, Carmen was a full-time housewife. They raised four daughters: Carmen, who died at 58 in 2020 of cancer; Elena, 59, a social worker in a New York hospital; Ana, 57, a former high-school biology teacher and housewife and mother of three; and Dora, 56, a Certified Public Accountant and housewife and mother of two. All four girls attended Holy Family School.

Modesto got involved in Holy Family School’s Home and School Association, eventually serving as president. He has also served 40 years as a lector and is now a coordinator of lectors. He also served on the parish leadership group and taught Confirmation formation.

“Faith is vital. It is the bedrock of our relationship,” Modesto said.

Even though travel to Cuba has recently opened up, Al and Carmen have no plans to visit, even though two of their daughters traveled there. The couple said they have “sad memories” of Cuba and have no family there since they all moved to Miami over the years. Now, Modesto and Carmen enjoy retirement in their spacious house, where they love entertaining family and out-of-state visitors.

In their kitchen is a photo of Al and Carmen cooking for family and friends. Carmen smiled when telling The Beacon why she loves Modesto.

“He makes me laugh so much. He makes me feel happy when I’m with him,” Carmen said.