Cold shower awakens faith for some men taking part in Exodus 90

POMPTON PLAINS  Would you take a short, cold shower every day for three months?

A few of the Catholic men in a local men’s fraternity, the Men of St. Joseph, tried this unusual spiritual practice for 90 days to prepare for Easter — one piece of Exodus 90, a three-part program that helped them become what God calls them to be. It is based on three “pillars” — prayer — spending more time talking to and listening to God; asceticism — enacting lifestyle changes to help them better focus on faith and family; and fraternity — building a group of faithful men who support each other in their walk with Christ, according to Exodus 90’s website, www.exodus90.com.

The group met at Our Lady of Good Counsel (OLGC) Church. One member, who took short, cold daily showers was Stephen Kass, 57, an energy consultant. One of many “ascetical disciplines” that Exodus suggests, the shower is an act of penance that is an outward sign of inner conversion, and expression of contrition and love for God.

“We all identified things that enslave us, such as spending too much time watching TV or looking at our cell phones, drinking too much alcohol or eating too much — bad habits that take us away from God, our loved ones, and our Church,” said Kass, who curtailed his usual watching of TV news until midnight with his wife. Instead, he read books, and like Exodus 90 suggested, prayed a holy hour and conducted a daily examination of conscience. “These men, from their 40s to their 70s, chose which ‘ascetical practices’ worked for them in the hope that they create lasting habits that continue beyond the 90 days,” he said.

The Men of St. Joseph originate from many parishes around Passaic County and beyond, including, OLGC; St. Joseph, Lincoln Park; Our Lady of Consolation, Wayne; St. Mary, Pompton Lakes; Holy Spirit, Pequan­nock; and St. Anthony, Butler.

The name Exodus 90 has a double meaning. Participating men read the entire Book of Exodus — the story of the Israelites’ difficult journey to freedom from Egyptian bondage. Meanwhile, the men were trying to free themselves from distractions that kept them away from God and enslaved them — their own personal exoduses, Kass said.

Members practiced the “prayer” pillar of the program. They read and reflected on Exodus, prayed a holy hour, and conducted a daily examination of conscience, said Kass, who had participated in Exodus 90 with some of the Men of St. Joseph last year.

With a child and a foster child, time at home was tight for Carlo Nardone, 40, a manager.

“I went to a separate room — an empty space, so I could avoid continuous distractions and get time to read Scripture and a pray a holy hour. In prayer, God speaks to you,” Nardone, who credited his wife, a devout Catholic, for supporting him in this program. “I’m still a work in progress,” Nardone said.

The “ascetical disciplines” that Exodus 90 suggests help men detach from their bad habits — many of the typical “do’s” and “don’ts” of Lent — while also building faith-filled habits. The program suggests that men abstain from alcohol, desserts, sweets, TV, movies, video games, and non-essential material purchases. They are urged to listen to music that lifts the soul to God; use the computer only for work, school, or essential tasks; and use mobile devices only for essential communications.

Some of Exodus 90’s proactive suggestions for “ascetical disciplines” include practicing intense exercise; getting a full night’s sleep; and fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays. They abstain from meat and only eat one full meal, as well as two smaller meals that together are not equal to a full meal, according to the program materials.

Participating men attended weekly meetings at OLGC on Sunday mornings. For an hour, they prayed, read and reflected on Scripture, and assessed their own lives and also challenged each other to live as authentic Christian men — for God, the Church, their families, and friends, Kass said.

Ted Roberto, 40, who is a podiatrist and is married with two children, said, “The program opened up a conversation with God and with the other men. The meetings got deep. We had constructive conversations.”

Participants sometimes got into debates but “were always respectful,” said Nardone, adding that the program made him “more engaged with people.”

Each day, the men also “checked-in” with their “anchor,” another fraternity member designed to offer them encouragement and act as a sounding board. Joe Lorenc, 55, a sales rep and a married father of two adult children, looked forward to the “check-ins,” whether they be a calls or a texts.

“The ‘check-in’ sometimes lightened my mood. We were accountable to each other,” Lorenc said.

The Men of St. Joseph have also gathered for evening prayer on Wednesday nights, prayed the rosary by phone on Sunday evening rosary by phone, had Eucharistic Adoration on first Saturdays, reading Consecration to St. Joseph: The Wonders of Our Spiritual Father, and hold social events, Kass said.

“We are all wrestling with how to grow in faith in this secular world under the guidance of St. Joseph,” Kass said.