CLIFTON If there’s anything the Jubilee Year of Mercy made Catholics worldwide realize, it is that God’s love and mercy is unconditional and always there for anyone who wants to receive it.
In November, Pope Francis reiterated this message especially to those women and men affected by an abortion allowing priests to absolve the sin of abortion in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. “There is no sin that God’s mercy cannot reach and wipe away when it finds a repentant heart seeking to be reconciled with the Father,” the pope said.
For those women and men, who find themselves seeking to renew, rebuild and redeem hearts broken by an abortion, the Paterson Diocese is once again hosting a Rachel’s Vineyard weekend retreat. It will offer a supportive, confidential and non-judgmental environment where women and men can express, release and reconcile painful post-abortive emotions to begin the process of restoration, renewal and healing. The retreat will be held on the weekend of Jan. 27 to 29 within the Paterson Diocese. For those seeking information, all calls will be confidential.
Since 2003, the Diocese has hosted Rachel Vineyard retreats and Marie Ryan, former diocesan director of the Office of Family Life, continues to serve in this ministry of post abortion healing.
Some of the symptoms faced by those who experienced an abortion include depression, nightmares, anxiety, and withdrawal from family and even suicidal thoughts. Rachel’s Vineyard allows participants to talk about those experiences and find forgiveness. The retreats are led by trained team members, which include priests, lay ministers and counselors to provide one-on-one spiritual and psychological support.
“Those who come to these retreats are so wounded by abortion,” Ryan said. “At the retreat, they find themselves in the hands of people that are empathetic and compassionate and they are able to begin the process of healing.”
An important focus of the retreats is the return to the Sacraments — especially the Sacrament of Reconciliation. A priest will be present at the retreat to listen to the confessions of retreatants.
Father Marc Mancini, pastor of St. Therese Parish in Succasunna, has been involved in Rachel’s Vineyard retreats for 10 years. “It’s an important ministry that allows good women and good men to experience healing and also the healing they receive in the Sacrament of Reconciliation,” he said. “They gain support within the context of the program and hear the stories of others going through a similar experience.”
The retreats can range from anywhere between four participants to as many as 12 to 14. Those who come to the retreats are of all ages and backgrounds.
While it’s mostly women, who attend these retreats, men have attended as well. Ryan recalls the first phone call she has ever received about Rachel’s Vineyard more than a decade ago was from a man. She said, “Abortion affects men too. I remember that very first phone call from someone seeking help. It was from a husband who said, ‘My wife needs you.’ ”
In addition to self-reconciliation and reconciliation from God, the retreat helps begin the healing process to other relationships. Many times, parents or significant others are the ones who pressure a pregnant woman to get an abortion.
Another aspect of the retreat is creating a connection among the unborn child and parent, which allows the letting go of the guilt and the healing to begin. Father Mancini said, “The retreat provides a connection between the parents and the child they chose not to have. Often times, parents believe once the choice is made, the life they gave up is not here with us anymore. But as Catholics we believe these babies live in heaven. The retreat enables the connection between the parents and the children.”
Post-abortion trauma differs from other traumas because it’s most often kept a secret and people don’t share their pain with others. Because of this, follow up meetings are held after the Rachel Vineyard retreats.
“Darkness is being lifted from these people who experienced the pain of abortion. The poorest of the poor are those with no spiritual connection. Those mothers, that let their children go through abortion find that connection again through Rachel’s Vineyard,” said Ryan.
[Information: Marie Ryan at (973) 377-1004, ext. 425. All calls will be held in the strictest confidence.]