Speakers inspire women of Diocese

MADISON  Years ago, Cindy Costello, a married mother of five, found herself in prayer in Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament at St. Thomas the Apostle Parish, Sandyston, pouring out her life to Jesus — all her joys and disappointments, hopes and fears and blessings and shortcomings. At first, she described the experience as “being wrung out like a washcloth” but then reconsidered the enormity of the spiritual release that she felt and added, “It was more like a bath towel.”

Many of the 230 women in the Diocese who attended the 2018 Women’s Conference on April 28 at St. Paul Inside the Walls: the Diocesan Center for Evangelization at Bayley-Ellard here, laughed at Costello’s funny insight, relating to her life struggles as an active and faithful Catholic woman. That Saturday in St. Paul’s auditorium, Costello and two other Catholic women — all from different walks of life — spoke as featured presenters at the four-hour conference to inspire and affirm the faith and lives of the women in attendance.

The speakers were journalist Kate Wicker, whose faith helped her overcome an eating disorder; Costello, a teacher, who witnesses about how to live the Catholic life; and fund-raiser Katie McKenna, who used humor, during her painful recovery from injuries that she suffered after having been run over by a truck. They each explored the theme of the conference — “Today’s Catholic Woman: Feminine, Faithful, Fearless at Any Age, at Any Stage of Life” — through the lenses of their own ministries, lives, faith and insights. The event also featured Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Keaton Douglas, a singer and parishioner of St. Thomas Parish, Sandyston, led the conference.

“Welcome to this beautiful space for this beautiful event,” Father Paul Manning, diocesan vicar for evangelization and St. Paul’s executive director, told the audience at the conference, which spanned ages, ethnicities and backgrounds. In his opening remarks, the priest also sent the blessings of Bishop Serratelli, who was unable to attend, and thanked the St. Paul’s staff; and a committee from St. Paul’s, which organized the event; and the many vendors of books and other items that participated.

In her talk, Costello reminded the women to become faithful first by receiving Jesus. She spoke about that watershed moment of being in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament in quiet, where she heard Jesus tell her, “Others don’t define you; I do.” “What I heard God say, he said with such authority, and I knew that it came from someone who knew me,” said Costello, who called it a “privilege” to return to the Church of Paterson for the conference, having served as marriage ministry coordinator for the diocesan Office of Family Life, until last year.

“I feel most beautiful after Confession, Holy Communion or Adoration. People see God’s glory in me. When our hearts are filled with love and grace, we are so attractive. It’s written in our hearts. People are drawn to us,” said Costello, a former St. Thomas parishioner and an “almost” empty nester, who has been pursuing a master’s degree in theology at Franciscan University in Steubenville, Ohio, where she recently moved with husband, Tom. Also, she works in her Gifts Into Flame Ministry. “Women can reflect God’s beauty in our faithfulness. We are mothering, nurturing and generous and always make room for others,” she said.

As a mother, Costello basked in the blessing of having giving birth to “five unrepeatable persons that will have a destiny and purpose that no one will ever have.” But women also can become spiritual mothers, who help nurture people’s faith. Mothers everywhere can look to the Blessed Mother as the greatest example of faithfulness, especially in her openness to do God’s will, said Costello, who witnesses and teaches about how to pray, work and live a faith-filled Catholic life.

The first speaker that Saturday was Wicker, who cautioned the women from trying to become perfect wives, mothers, daughters, housekeepers or Catholics. A self-described “recovering perfectionist,” she spoke about developing an eating disorder at 15 years old but then realizing the damage that she was causing herself, which prompted her to seek help. Yet Wicker said that she carried that sense of perfectionism later into life as a wife and mother of five.

In life, women struggle with various types of pain, including feelings of being under-appreciated; children or husbands, “who get on our nerves”; and the desire to achieve more and more. So women put up a front that they are leading perfect lives, said Wicker, also a journalist, speaker and author of the books “Getting Past Perfect: How to Find Joy and Grace in the Messiness of Motherhood” and “Weightless: Making Peace with Your Body.”

“Jesus is telling us to put our imperfect, broken lives out there and go in love. You not only rock the cradle, but you also rock the world. Women are awesome,” Wicker told the women at the conference.

The final speaker was McKenna, a Brooklyn, N.Y.-based writer, sometime comedian and professional fund-raiser, who spoke about having suffered life-threatening injuries, after being run over by an 18-wheeler when she was 25 years old. She used humor to help her battle the immense pain of recovery — musings that she turned into a blog and then a book, “How to Get Run Over by a Truck: a Memoir.” She prayed to God at the accident scene and later in the hospital that she would not die that day and for him “to forgive my trespasses, because I had a lot of trespasses,” said McKenna, followed by laughter from the audience.

McKenna said that she suffered broken ribs, damaged organs, many broken bones and a lack of feeling below her waist but defied the expectations of the medical professionals that she would not survive the accident, much less ever walk again.

“I stared fear in the face. I heard a voice that said, ‘They don’t know you. You are stronger than they know. Start thinking about how to make this better.’ My faith in God’s love and mercy gave me the strength to fly. The most important part of my Catholic faith through all this was gratitude. When you are grateful, there is not room for fear or regret,” said McKenna, who endured pain during physical therapy, and also credited her hard work and determination to her success in regaining her ability to walk again.

During a break at the conference, Joanne Kopki of St. Peter the Apostle Parish, Parsip­pany, remarked that she feels “empowered because of my God.”

“The speakers are so relatable and tweak how to look at life. It’s great to hear that other women feel the same way that you do,” said Kopki, a widowed mother of two daughters.