MADISON Doctors handed the parents of Mary Oswald a gloomy prognosis about their child’s future after she was born as a congenital amputee with many significant physical challenges. Among other things, the physicians predicted that Oswald — who was born with short legs, one short arm and no hands — would not be able to sit up or walk and would not live beyond 30.
“But the doctors didn’t leave room for my parents’ faith and their trust in God that I would be able to sit up and walk and live to this great age,” said Oswald, a former staff member of the Legal Center for the Defense of Life in Morristown. She was part of a conversation about the intersection of faith, work and life at the April 6 session of “Speaking of Faith” at St. Paul Inside the Walls: the Diocesan Evangelization Center at Bayley-Ellard here.
In the auditorium of St. Paul’s, Oswald sat across a small table from Father Manning, the evangelization center’s executive director and diocesan vicar for evangelization, for the “Speaking of Faith” event. In a lively conversation, the priest asked her questions about her faith, overcoming significant physical challenges and finding her voice as speaker about her experiences as a special-needs person, as a pro-life advocate and as a cantor at her parish, St. Brigid, Peapack. Listening in on this intimate conversation was an engaged audience, who asked her questions at the conclusion of the 90-minute program that evening.
“ ‘Speaking of Faith’ is a series of interviews with noted Catholics, where we ask them to reflect on the concept of God and about the integration of faith with life,” Father Manning told the audience in his introduction.
The conversation between Oswald and Father Manning also unpacked the life story of the featured speaker, who always has quietly listened for God’s will — just like her parents — in the course of living her life. She has served as St. Brigid’s pro-life representative and has won several awards for her advocacy, such as the Pro-Vita award from the Metuchen Diocese. Oswald also belongs to that diocese’s Ministry for Persons with Disabilities. She also had served on staff of the Legal Center for the Defense of Life, a non-profit organization that provides legal services to protect human life, from conception to natural death, especially the life of the unborn baby in the womb.
Oswald — whose birth defects were caused by the drug Thalidomide — told Father Manning that she always felt love from her grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles and the five siblings that were born after her. Her parents treated her like her sisters and brother. During her elementary school years, she attended St. Pius X School, Montville, and Pinebrook School, Lincoln Park.
“I felt the same at home, but different at school. In kindergarten, I was put behind the teacher’s desk, separate from the other kids in class. There, I colored with my toes,” said Oswald, who was graduated from Morris Catholic High School, Denville. She remembers Father Manning, when he served as Morris Catholic’s president at the time.
As a child, Oswald wore prosthetic arms for the first half of the day in public school, but took them off because they were cumbersome. She also wore prosthetic legs but lived in fear of falling and hurting herself, so she did not use them outside the house. She liked being with her fellow students at school but did endure some taunting, Oswald said.
“I’ve had people stare at me and say, ‘Look at the midget.’ I’ve learned to accept that,” said Oswald, who does not fit the definition of a midget, who is taller and has all of his or her limbs. “I am a small person,” she said.
Despite her disabilities, Oswald earned a bachelor’s degree cum laude in psychology from the College of St. Elizabeth (CSE), Convent Station, and a master’s degree in vocational rehabilitation counseling from Seton Hall University, South Orange. It was at CSE that she began to find her voice as a pro-life advocate, when she began to give talks, she said.
Later in the conversation, Father Manning asked Oswald, “When did you become a conscious Catholic?”
It happened CSE, she said, when she took a human sexuality class taught by Sister of Charity Rosalie Curran, who promoted Respect for Life and suggested that Oswald get involved with N.J. Right to Life — one of the many times she listened to God’s will in her life. She also listened in deciding college majors and even discerning marriage, which was emotionally difficult as she watched her sisters get married. Oswald, who is single, said, “I’m at peace with that.”
“God has a plan for each of our lives,” Oswald said. “As our faith teaches us, we aren’t created for this life but the next, where the blind shall see, the deaf shall hear and the lame shall leap for joy. This is what gives me great hope,” she said.
Oswald also found a voice that has helped her overcome the many physical challenges that have frustrated her. One time, she got stuck in between stairwells at CSE, she called out for help. “My mother told me, ‘You have a voice — use it,’ ” said Oswald, who found her singing voice as a cantor of the 5 p.m. Mass on Saturday at St. Brigid’s.
Toward the end of the evening, Father Manning asked Oswald how she views God.
“I see God as all-encompassing love and as fatherly and grandfatherly,” said Oswald, who recalled getting that same feeling when she met St. John Paul II in 1993 during his visit to World Youth Day in Denver. He lovingly embraced her, kissed her forehead and told her that he would pray for her intensions, she said.
After the conversation, Oswald answered questions from the audience, sang Psalm 118 and listened as her family members regaled the crowd with anecdotes about her. One audience member, who traveled a long way, was Betsy Miller of Mary, Mother of God Parish, Hillsborough, who came with her 10-year-old twins, Caitlyn and Jack. She is a 1981 graduate of the Morris Catholic, the class after Oswald.
“Mary’s talk was inspirational,” Miller said. “I hope that my kids learn that God is always there for them in good times and bad. They need to hear these life lessons.”