Called to Courage

WAYNE  Like so many, Al Hreha feels that this past year has badly beaten him up both mentally and spiritually.

A former parishioner of Annunciation Parish here, Hreha said he is tired that people keep getting sick from COVID-19, while the death toll continues to rise. He is tired of safety protocols that make it difficult to see family or dine out. He also sees a broken Church and nation, split by divisive politics, that makes him question his once rock-solid faith — part of a powerful talk he gave on March 6 during a virtual men’s retreat.

About 80 men from far and wide tuned into the retreat, organized by Called to Courage, a new collaborative ministry among men in parishes around the Diocese. Hailing from the corners of the Diocese, including Randolph, Sparta, and Wayne, they created the outreach to develop retreats, designed to cast a wide net of hope for men. So many men today are having difficulty holding onto or strengthening their faith in the midst of life’s many struggles, frustrations, and disappointments, such as those related to COVID-19, according to the Called to Courage leadership team.

“I may sound like I am in a dark place but isn’t our country and our world in a dark place, too. It bothers me because I cannot fix it,” said Hreha, now of Long Branch, in his witness talk for the two-hour videoconference retreat, which gave the men inspiration to survive and thrive, during the pandemic. He quoted Henri Nouwen, a renowned Catholic theologian, who wrote, “We must face our brokenness and listen. Listen for a voice that is gently calling us … It is a peace that abides in the heart that knows, no matter what, all is well, because Jesus is in the midst of its outcome … When we listen, God becomes a constant stabilizer in our life,” Hreha said.

Hreha, a retired corporate executive in finance, human resources, and real estate, a married father of three and grandfather of one (with another on the way), told the men: “Life isn’t fair and moments of personal trials are inevitable … But like Moses [who suffered during his 40 years in the desert], I intend to find joy in my suffering. I pray that you have the courage to do the same.”

The March 6 retreat was the first such event organized by Men of Courage, which was initiated more than a year ago by Father Daniel Murphy, a retired diocesan priest. It was designed give men in the Diocese and beyond a retreat experience for those in parishes that have no men’s retreat ministry. It draws its inspiration from the Men’s Cornerstone Retreat program, which over the years, has helped parishes in the Diocese have success in leading men to a stronger faith, a deeper sense of prayer, and an authentic sense of community, he said.

To help enact his plan, Father Murphy invited a select group of men from around the Diocese to its team, including many from three parishes, where he served as pastor: St. Kateri Tekakwitha, Sparta; Our Lady of the Valley, Wayne; and St. Matthew, Randolph. Most of them have been involved in men’s retreat ministry, both as participants and leaders, Father Murphy said.

“We had a great reception to our first retreat. That speaks volumes about the hunger that men have to share their faith and their faith journey,” Father Murphy said at the start of the recent retreat, held virtually because of COVID-19 concerns. He later told The Beacon, “The retreat is a hybrid — Cornerstone with some other elements that we are adapting for specific situations, such as the pandemic. Society sees courage as strength, power, and domination. But Called to Courage calls men to an authentic Christian courage that is different: one of faith, love, compassion, and vulnerability.”

It is hoped that the retreats will inspire these men to get more involved at their parishes or help establish a men’s retreat ministry in their faith communities. If the health and safety situation improves, Called to Courage is planning a more in-depth, in-person overnight retreat from Saturday to Sunday, Nov. 6–7 at Villa Pauline Retreat House in Mendham. This new outreach hopes to offer retreats twice or more times each year, Father Murphy said.

The Nov. 6 retreat expounded on Nouwen’s insight that we are a Eucharistic people, who are “called, blessed, broken, and given” by Christ to become the bread of the world for other people. The event included an opening prayer; a reading from Matt 4:18–22, which tells the story of Jesus calling Peter out of the boat; two witness talks; small-group discussions after each presentation; a larger discussion with the entire group; and closing prayers. Both Hreha and Richard Piovano, the other speaker, agreed to be quoted by The Beacon, while respecting the retreat’s confidentiality policy.

“The retreat is great for men of all walks of life and situations — from those with a strong faith to those who are questioning,” said Piovano.

A parishioner of St. Matthew’s, Piovano is a married father to two grown children, who spoke about his struggles during the pandemic, including losing his job in sales leadership for a corporation. He did see a silver lining to his months in quarantine: spending more quality time with family, in prayer, and to “stop and see what is important. “I am one of God’s chosen ones — chosen not once, not at some specific time, but again and again, always and forever [which] — in the midst of all the craziness in the world — is comforting and enabling. I’m blessed … and chosen … and broken … all together, all at once. And that is OK,” Piovano said.

Another team member is Richard Freiberger of St. Kateri, who said that men’s retreats help men connect with each other. “That’s when the walls come down quickly and people are reached. It makes an impact and makes men stronger,” he said.

John Pescatore, a team member from Our Lady of Consolation Parish in Wayne noted that men’s retreats “were an important part of our lives, because they fostered fellowship and brotherhood.”

“The men get a lot out of the retreats, when they hear the stories of the other men — often experiences that they have had and can relate to. They get to know the other men’s walks in faith,” Pescatore said.