‘Fathers of St. Joseph’

ROCKAWAY  Parenthood can be a noisy business, and for a group of Catholic dads in Morris County the pre-dawn hours offer the quiet needed for restoration and reflection on their vocation as fathers.

The N.J. chapter of the Fathers of St. Joseph meets for silent prayer and discussion every other Saturday morning in the parish office at St. Cecelia’s Parish here.

“They said it met at 5:30 a.m. and that was almost a non-starter for me,” joked Sean Collier, an environmental lawyer and father of three young boys. But it’s been worth the effort, he said, for the wisdom gained through the fellowship and his own introspection. “Fatherhood is a vocation and there is a temptation to stumble through it. But you were chosen and made by almighty God to be a father. He put you here for a reason…It’s time to show up!”

Sam Chey, a former youth minister in the Newark Archdiocese, founded the local chapter of the Iowa-based group. “The point of meeting early was to have time to ourselves without taking away from family time,” said Chey, who has four children under age 7.

St. Joseph, of course, is the pre-eminent model for the Catholic fathers and husbands. “He was just, he was righteous…We strive for a better understanding of St. Joseph, what he went through and how it’s applicable to us,” said Chey.

The group has been meeting on the second and fourth Saturdays of the month since last fall and has about a dozen members. Most are young dads, some attended Seton Hall University together, but grandfathers also have come to the meetings, Chey said.

The national non-profit Fathers of St. Joseph group provides podcasts, books and blogposts authored by Devin Schadt, cofounder of the apostolate. Schadt, who has five daughters, said he was drawn to St. Joseph after his wife told him he needed to be more present at home after the difficult birth of their third daughter, who has special needs.

After a period of discernment, he came to recognize the importance of his vocation as a dad, and authored “Joseph’s Way, The Call to Fatherly Greatness.” The book started as a letter to himself, he said in an interview on @Home with Jim and Joy on EWTN.

St. Joseph provides a humble, yet strong, example of the importance of fatherhood, and evidence that one man can change the world, Schadt told the hosts. “Look at the Old Testament patriarch Joseph — that one man saved the world from famine. And you look at the New Testament Joseph — that one man saved the world from spiritual famine by protecting the child Jesus. What can one man do? A lot if he’s animated by the Holy Spirit.”

At St. Cecilia’s the group begins with silent prayer and generally listens to a podcast by Schadt; discussion follows. The gatherings are not so much meetings as they are mini-retreats that focus on the “spirituality of fatherhood,” said Chey.

“It has allowed me to concentrate on my role as a Christian father, to identify the challenges and give me the tools I need to change my habits,” said Jim Mainardi, an operations manager for a family business who has five children between the ages 2–10. “If it weren’t for this opportunity, I wouldn’t have the fellowship.”

The confraternity focuses on the protection of women and children and encourages men to embrace their “charitable authority” in protecting, providing for and teaching their families. The group rests on the pillar of embracing silence, to better discern divine guidance. “I need God to give God,” Schadt said on the show. “If I want to infuse my family with God I need to be infused by God. I need to revive that in prayer.”

Schadt said chapters have formed across the country and are now on three continents. “This is not a meeting of men, it’s a spirituality,” he said, on the EWTN show. “Dads are discovering that their vocation as fathers is their call to greatness.”

[Information on the New Jersey chapter, call Sam Chey (973) 219-6654.]