Below are some frequently asked questions about the sacrament:
Every time we sin, we hurt ourselves, other people and God. The Sacrament of Reconciliation was given to us by Christ to help us reconcile with Christ and His Church. Through the Sacrament, we acknowledge our sins, express our sorrow in a meaningful way, receive the forgiveness of Christ and his Church, make reparation for what we have done and resolve to do better in the future.
The rite for the Sacrament of Reconciliation involves four parts: contrition, confession, penance and absolution.
Contrition: a sincere sorrow for having offended God and the most important act of the penitent. There can be no forgiveness of sin if we do not have sorrow and a firm resolve not to repeat our sin.
Confession: confronting our sins in a profound way to God by speaking about them —aloud— to the priest.
Penance: an important part of our healing is the “penance” the priest imposes in reparation for our sins.
Absolution: the priest speaks the words by which “God, the Father of Mercies” reconciles a sinner to Himself through the merits of the Cross.
As the Catechism of the Catholic Church points out, our faith in the forgiveness of sins is tied to faith in the Holy Spirit and the Church: "It was when he gave the Holy Spirit to his apostles that the risen Christ conferred on them his own divine power to forgive sins: 'Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained'" (976; cf. John 20:22-23).
We bring our failings to the Church, then, because Jesus imparted to his apostles, their successors, and through them to all ordained priests, his own power to forgive sins, to restore and reconcile the sinner with God and also the Church. This power to forgive sins is often referred to as the "power of the keys," the power entrusted to the Church when Jesus told St. Peter, "I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven" (Matthew 16:19). This power is manifested and operative in the sacrament of Penance.
(Excerpted from A Guide to the Sacrament of Penance: Discover God's Love Anew, Bishops of Pennsylvania, 2002)
A priest can never reveal what he is told in a confession. This obligation of absolute confidentiality and secrecy is most serious. In fact, a priest who violates the Seal of Confession is punished with automatic excommunication.
If you would prefer to receive the Sacrament anonymously, it's fine. Most confessionals or reconciliation rooms have a screen behind which you can kneel during your confession if you prefer.
Won't the priest remember what I said? I'm embarrassed/don't want him to think badly of me.
The priest's purpose is not to keep a check-list on people, but to be an instrument of Christ in receiving someone's sorrow, bringing forgiveness and helping the people move forward. A priest hears a large number of confessions. He is not there to judge the person, but rather the nature of the sin, and to offer counsel and encouragement to overcome the sin and to grow spiritually. He too goes to confession, so he knows how it feels to confront one's own sins and ask for forgiveness.
The priest may ask for additional information simply to clarify what happened, to understand if the action you confessed was a one-time situation or a pattern, and to assess the person's understanding of the situation.
Canon #989 says that Catholics are obliged to confess any grave (or mortal) sins at least once a year. That said, parishioners are encouraged to take advantage of the Sacrament at least monthly. This practice helps us keep aware of our spiritual progress and provides the grace to overcome our sins.
Any of these is fine. The Rite itself uses Penance and Reconciliation. The Catechism of the Catholic Church notes the sacrament is known by many names:
If you are civilly divorced and have not remarried or were validly married after receiving a declaration of nullity for your prior marriage, you may participate in the Sacrament. If you have remarried outside of the Church or have questions about your situation, we encourage you to speak with your parish priest, and to read this online information.
Another excellent resource is a brochure published by Our Sunday Visitor, called "What the Church Teaches: Annulments," available in the literature racks of many churches. (Our Sunday Visitor)
My dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
Nothing is more startling and, at the same time, more consoling than the truth for which Jesus lived and preached and died. It is this: God is love. As the Psalmist says, “The Lord is a merciful and gracious God, slow to anger, most loving and true” (Ps 86:15).
Throughout his public ministry, Jesus shows the face of God as compassionate and merciful in his healing miracles and exorcisms. Even before Jesus issues the summons to repent, he announces, “This is the time of fulfillment. The kingdom of God is at hand” (Mk 1:15). The kingdom is nothing other than the presence of God making his love known and felt in our lives.
Jesus opens us to the profound meaning of the kingdom with his parable of the Prodigal Son (Lk 15: 11-32). It is found at the very center of Luke’s Gospel. It is the very heart of the gospel itself! The son who takes his inheritance, squanders it away and finds himself unfulfilled is each of us. We take the gifts that God gives us and use them against God’s will. We are the ones left empty, longing and desiring more than our sinful lives can give.
As in the parable, so in life. God is the Father who sees us, runs to us and embraces us. He takes our feeble confession of sin and turns it into a moment of great rejoicing. Our sins strip us of our dignity. God clothes us with his grace and peace. Nothing can make God stop loving us. In fact, as Paul says, “God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us” (Rom 5: 8).
When Jesus preached such great love to sinners, the self-righteous took scandal. But not the tax-collector and the prostitutes (cf Mt 21: 31). They recognized in his ready forgiveness of even their worst sins that God was drawing them back to Himself. The self-righteous would not acknowledge their sins. They did not accept the free gift of God’s forgiveness offered in Christ. But others, like Zacchaeus and the woman caught in adultery, did and found peace.
Through the ministry of the Church, God offers us his forgiveness in Christ Crucified and Risen. In the great sacrament of Reconciliation, God is already running to meet us. He wants to welcome us. He wants to exchange our dirty rags of prideful self-indulgence with the righteousness of Christ Crucified. He wants to bring us back into the joy of his home and into the fellowship of his Church. He longs to see us reconciled with Himself and with others.
Like the prodigal son barely able to confess his sins, we, at times, are ashamed and even afraid to name those evils that separate us from God who loves us so much. But the Father is not ashamed to recognize us as his own son or daughter. He longs to wrap his arms around us. He is waiting to welcome us to home.
Now is the time to meet the Lord in Confession and know the joy of coming home.
May the Lord who calls us to be one with him lead us through repentance into the embrace of his love.
Examination of Conscience |